Draco's Journey
by MetalGodlv66
Summary: Draco struggles to survive Hogwarts as he starts his journey on love and loss. Flash foreword ten years later as Draco journey's in solitude across the scorched Earth left by Voldemort. As I write more I'll update this summary more accurately.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Good Morning

Sweat rolled down Draco's naked body. His back arched as he gasped for air. It wasn't the first time he felt this way before. An intense feeling over swept him as that face appeared before him. That face that haunted his nightmares. A pale hairless face with two slits for a nose. Lord Voldemort.

Draco awoke in a panic. His heart beat furiously in his chest. His lungs gasped for air while his brain processed for the third night in a row what his nightmare truly meant. Draco held up his wrist and looked at it anxiously. The tattoo wasn't there. Not yet, but it was coming. Soon, his father had told him. Soon.

He threw his blanket off himself and started to get out of bed. He only wore underwear to bed. Lately he'd been waking up in a sweat, so it was to his advantage, but the morning air had a chill to it and Draco did not like that. He threw a robe on over his naked white body and headed out of his room.

A pale white pathetic form looked back at Draco in the bathroom. It took him a few moments to realize it was his reflection. He harrumphed at himself. The robe slid off his slender body and Draco took his full form in the reflection. At fifteen he still had the body of a pathetic skinny teenager. He could see some muscle definition show itself around his arms, and he thought around his thighs, from Quidditch. It did not please him.

Draco bit his lip, lost in thought, when starting his shower. The water hit his skin in cold torment until it quickly scorched his pure white complexion. He never noticed, cursing himself that his body still looked that of a boy rather than a man. The Dark Lord was recruiting, and his father had high hopes for him. The Quidditch finals were coming up, and his team was leading. His grades were good; no, great. First in all his classes. Draco's heart raced as he thought of all the events coming up. Events that will shape Draco for the rest of his life.

* * *

Harry yawned. He could feel his body shake in the early morning. He wasn't ready to face the sun, or the day for that matter, but whoever was shaking him had other ideas.

"Harry." A faint voice broke through to Harry's slumbering conscious. "Harry, wake up."

Harry could only turn over, covering his face with layers of blankets, to hide from the voice.

"Honestly Harry, you're the one who told me to wake you. The least you can do is cooperate or be late yet again for Potions."

Harry dug his face further into his pillow, or at least he tried. "Potions?" he mumbled. Harry's brain slowly started working, and then it all came back to him. Severus Snape, Harry's most hated teacher, told him that if he were late again he'd serve detention. Harry had been late nearly every week for the last two months. It wasn't his fault, mostly, but now he was awake.

"I'm up!" Harry yelled. Panic settled into his voice and he was met with Hermione staring at him with her _I told you so_ look on her face. He threw off his covers and stood on his bed looking for his books.

"Pants!" Hermione shouted. She turned away with a slight blush tinting her cheeks.

"Sorry," said Harry. He quickly tied a sheet around his waist as he gathered his stuff. Usually he had his pajamas that Mrs. Weasley gave him for Christmas, but last night he was too tired to put anything on and decided to snuggle under numerous layers.

"I'll meet you in class," Hermione said, still not looking at Harry, "you've got ten minutes."

"Wah ewe doin' air?"

Hermione glanced at Ron who just woke up. She rolled her eyes. _Boys_ , she thought.

"You too Ronald, ten minutes."

"Awite. Ten mo' minits." Ron collapsed, snoring into the morning.

* * *

Hermione got to Potions with six minutes to spare. Snape gave her a questioning look, usually Hermione arrived much earlier. She ignored him, but deep down she did feel guilty for not being there earlier. Hermione gritted her teeth as she watched the clock tick and tock. _Where are you guys,_ she asked herself.

Draco sat on the other side of the room with the other Slytherins. He stared at Granger, wondering where her two cohorts were. He started to feel worried when the clock ticked closer and closer to the start of class and still they didn't show.

Severus smirked as the clock hit the start of class. Potter was late again, and Weasley. He was feeling excited, now his day started off much better.

Harry and Ron burst through the door, huffing as they stood with every student looking at them, and Snape letting his smirk slide.

"Potter. Weasley. Detention tonight. Eight o'clock," said Severus Snape.

"What?!" wheezed Ron. "But we made it on time."

Snape looked to the clock in the room. It struck a minute past. "Not according to the time."

"But-" said Harry.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor." His eyes pierced the two boys. "Eight. Sharp."

Ron and Harry looked to each other before slowly walking to their seats. Hermione gave them _the_ look. Snape still smirked, and Draco smiled from the corner of the room.

"Now," started Snape.

 **BOOM!**

The classroom was covered in a thick dark cloud of soot. The potion's master sputtered, confused and furious. He blew the soot against the walls and the students with a quick spell, his head as red as a tomato.

"WHO-"

Draco raised his hand. A sheepish grin displayed on his face. "Sorry, professor."

Snape paused, almost unable to comprehend. He took a breath to calm himself, compose himself, before saying, "That's alright. Everyone makes mistakes. Five points from Slytherin." Snape turned around, unsure of what Draco was playing at. All he had to do now was play it off. He was still his best student, whatever Draco-

 **BOOM!**

A dark thick cloud of soot covered the classroom again. Snape once again used a spell to send it all to the walls and students. Draco was still grinning at him, displaying his most innocent smile he could muster, but that wouldn't save him. Not now.

"Fifty points from Slytherin," said Snape. His eyes bulged, still not believing Draco would do such a thing. His fists clenched around his wand, and his teeth grinded against themselves as he said, "Detention. Eight. Sharp."

Draco slumped in his seat, feigning sadness. _Perfect_ , he thought, _now it all comes down to tonight_. Draco's heart beat inside his chest furiously. Nervousness and fear spread through his body. He trembled a bit before holding onto himself. _Tonight_ , Draco thought, _my future will be decided_.

* * *

 **Phew~ I'm back! Well...for now. I figured NaNoWriMo is a good time to come back and dust those cobwebs off. I haven't planned much for this story, so bear with me. I have a vague idea, but I'll be working that out while I write this. My goal is to finish this by the end of the month and move on to other work. As always comments are appreciated. See you all soon~**


	2. Chapter II: 10 Years Later

**Chapter II:**

 **10 Years Later**

Draco stood at the edge of a cliff as the sun started to rise. The wind blew against his face. His hair, long and blonde, waved in the wind while his eyes stared off into the distance with regret. The memories he had had of Hogwarts had plagued him since it happened. Since life as he knew it turned to the dark.

A horrifying neigh ignited behind him. Draco turned away from the beautiful sight to ease Blackbeak. The black steed ruffled his wings with each pat from Draco. The Thestral brought her head against Draco's chest and nudged him a few times.

"I know, girl, I know," he said.

One last glimpse of the sun was all Draco needed before mounting Blackbeak and heading off into the sky. He tried to catch the morning sunrise as often as he could. With the days growing darker by the week he needed something to remind him of why he needed to go on. The sun breaking the dark morning mist, the mix of colors as the primaries sliced through the blues and blacks, was enough of a sight for Draco to last another day. That, and Harry. It always pained him when remembering what happened. No one was prepared.

Blackbeak galloped, kicking her hooves against the clouds, and soaring ever higher in the morning light. Draco had no reason to fear muggles. What was one man flying across the winds to them when they had witnessed true hell from Lord Voldemort. If there was one good thing, if you could call it that, Draco liked about the Dark Lording unleashing his armies was the fact that he could now freely use magic without worrying about muggles. Within the first year that Voldemort's armies scorched the muggle plain the Wizarding counsel tried to mask it from the world. How foolish they were. Once countries were being invaded and muggles were being slaughtered did the rule for concealment break. Unfortunately, it was too late.

Draco steered Blackbeak down out of the clouds. His hut came into view, and before long Blackbeak landed and was nesting in his little nesting patch beside Draco's place. The blonde man sighed as he went into the hut. Another day in the sea of green, another day he felt useless to the world. He was waiting. A sign, message, something. He was waiting for something while Voldemort was terrorizing the world. He clenched his teeth as the thought floated through his mind.

After grabbing a cup from his cupboard, Draco sat at his table and brewed himself a cup of tea. It was the only thing that could ease his nerves those days. Trying to stay calm, and fending for your life can be tiresome to his body. Dark circles hung below his grey eyes that looked empty and lost. He had been fighting in the war for nearly ten years. Friends and enemies perished before his eyes, pain and suffering had inflicted their wounds upon Draco both internally and exteriorly. He had been constantly on alert for nearly a decade, and Draco was tired.

In his bedroom Draco slipped onto the mess of a haystack he called a bed. He refused to sleep in an actual bed for fear of a deep sleep. Mostly he snoozed on floors and hay where he could find. Barely had Draco experienced a dream since Voldemort's coming. Mostly, they were nightmares. Next to his haystack was Draco's Rapier, Silverwind. He always had it on him. Never left his side. Draco's eyes slowly dropped, allowing the familiar fuzziness of sleep lightly pass over him.

Draco was awoken by Blackbeak neighing in the afternoon sun. Light streamed into the window and fell upon Draco's body. He groaned, the light piercing his eyes. Draco shook himself awake and grabbed Silverwind before entering the kitchen. Once again, he grabbed a cup and made himself some tea. Draco's stomach growled, but he had no food eat. A slight rustle from behind had gained Draco's full attention, and in the span of a second he twirled around whipping out Silverwind.

A man in a black robe was in Draco's hut. He let out a little cackle as Draco pointed his rapier at him. The man held his wand at the ready, eager to cast a spell.

"So this is the famous Draco Malfoy. I expected more, I must admit."

"How did you find me?" asked Draco. He was in no mood to deal with one of Voldemort's pawns.

"A tale for another day," replied the man. "I'll need you to come with me now, Mr. Malfoy."

"I think not." Draco pushed Silverwind forward, towards the man in black in preparation for battle. The dark wizard could only laugh as he found Draco's actions ridiculous.

"And what will you do with that? Poke me to death? Chop my wand up?"

Draco took a shallow breath, and twirled the tip of his rapier before giving it a sharp thrust at the dark wizard while whispering _expelliarmus_. A light erupted from the tip of Silverwind and sent the wizard's wooden wand flying from his reach.

"Im-Impossible!" cried the dark wizard.

Draco rushed the man in an instant and dug Silverwind deep into his torso.

"No," said Draco, "If it were you'd still be alive."

The man had a streak of blood flow out of his mouth before he slumped to the ground and slid off the rapier with a thud. Draco quickly cleaned the blood off of Silverwind and sheathed his weapon. He checked the perimeter and calmed Blackbeak down before disposing of the body. In minutes Draco had his few possessions packed and saddled up Blackbeak.

"Come on, girl," Draco said, patting the side of the Thestral, "It's time we moved on. Looks like I can't hide in one place for too long anymore."

The Thestral whinnied and flapped her wings, trying to look at Draco. The Slytherin smiled and said, "Surprise me."


	3. Chapter III Answers and Questions

**Chapter III**

 **Answers and Questions**

Draco paced in his room. He had his arms crossed and was deep in thought. A slight nip in the air ran throughout the old Hogwarts castle making him shiver. Once in a while he would let slip a curse word in his empty room as he muttered. Detention was in an hour. Draco was a mess.

On Draco's nightstand laid a letter from his father. Draco knew all too well what it said, but he couldn't open it. Not before detention. Draco's heart was beating like a hummingbird inside his chest. A small bit of sweat trickled down his forehead.

"I can't do this," he whispered. He balled his fists and gritted his teeth, wrestling with his thoughts. "I can't."

Draco Malfoy was not one to show vulnerability, however, in the last year or so he'd started to feel it creep inside him. That vile little darkness that made him lash out. He tried talking to someone. Pansy, usually. He also tried a professional, but she made him feel even worse allowing those foreign feelings enter Draco openly. It always ended in frustration for him, so he shut it out. Let it fester for months, until he couldn't hold it back any longer.

The door to his room was opened and three Slytherin boys barged in while talking about the next big Quidditch game. Draco's eyes widened for a brief moment. His confident façade no where to be seen. The boys gathered around Goyle's bed. Draco could feel their presence. It felt very crowded in there, he could feel their pressure forcing him to hold onto himself tight, so he left with his head down, hiding his true expression.

"Hey, Draco, where you going?"

Draco had thirty minutes until detention. Plenty enough time to take a shower. The blonde Slytherin quickly disrobed and turned the knob. Hot water sprayed his naked form from above, and with it trickling down his every crevice Draco started to feel more at ease. The water helped calm his mind, allowed him to block his anxieties out. Never before had Draco dealt with this type of feeling. Sure there were times he had it briefly, but with each passing minute, the closer it came to detention, he felt it more. Draco felt like he was going to be sick.

"Why," Draco let out. His breath low and depressed.

A wet splat was made when Draco hit his head against the shower wall. Not forcefully that he'd bleed, but enough to try and knock some sense into him. A few weeks ago was when he couldn't ignore the feelings anymore. A few days ago was when he learned of his future, his near future. Everything in his life was hurtling together so fast that Draco could barely comprehend what was happening with his life. He didn't want any of it. He never _asked_ for any of it, and yet some things happen because they are inevitable.

Draco scrubbed his hair deep and good. He lost a few more anxieties, allowing the feeling of his fingers massage his scalp. He just needed to loosen up before detention. Try to be as relaxed as possible. He could worry about what happens after, of which he was uncertain, but for now he knew he needed to be as calm as possible for what he was about to do.

The water stopped. Draco got out of the shower and looked in the mirror once again. Looking back in the mirror was the same skinny pathetic boy who looked at him that morning. No matter how he looked at it, Draco saw himself as a disgrace. He rubbed his arm absently as he looked his body over for the hundredth time. He brought his arms up and looked at his muscles. They weren't much. Draco turned around and tried to get a view of his back. He sighed. He wasn't impressed.

"This isn't going to work," he said to himself. "I can't believe I'm even doing this."

Draco watched as he brushed his hair. He couldn't decide if he wanted his blonde locks sweeping to the left, or the right. The brush swooshed across his head again and again, but Draco was not pleased. His hair would not cooperate, so he threw his brush against the hair and it snapped in two. Draco took a deep breath.

"Here goes something."

* * *

Severus Snape sat in his chair while he waited for his students to come. He gleefully tapped his foot at the prospect of watching the life drain from Harry Potter's face from the boredom he'd experience in detention. Quite frankly, detention was Severus' favorite part of teaching. It was cathartic to him. He let another smirk escape his lips.

The door to his dungeon opened with a loud squeak. Severus looked up from The Daily Prophet to see Draco Malfoy walk in and take a seat. Like the good student Severus knew, Draco sat silently with his eyes down. Completely different from his buffoonish behavior that morning. Severus allowed his eyebrow to raise in confusion. He looked back to his paper, contemplating what could possibly have possessed his greatest student.

The clock on the wall ticked and tocked. Severus waited patiently like a venus fly trap for Harry and Ron to arrive. Draco had entered ten minutes early, as students should, but the clock was getting closer and closer to the time for the boys to arrive. Severus' blood pressure slowly increased at the thought of both boys being late again. If they were, Hell hath no fury that could compare to his.

Suddenly, the door to the potion's dungeon burst open, slamming against the wall as Ron and Harry ran inside holding their sides and gasping for air.

"We- We made it," said Ron. He quickly collapsed in the nearest chair.

"S-Sorry we- we're late Professor," Harry said. He was having trouble talking and breathing at the same time.

Severus stared at both of them. His newspaper was done with and sat on top of his desk as he stood. "Yes. You have arrived on time." He glanced across the room. The clock was five seconds before the deadline. "Barely."

Harry took a seat next to Ron, but Severus quickly waved his hand and told him to sit elsewhere. He watched in amusement as the Gryffindor found a seat away from Ron, yet carefully away from Draco. _Oh this is going to be a delight_ , thought the Professor. He proceeded to his cabinet in the back and took out three dusty books. They were old and worn, and now they were for the boys.

"For the remainder of your detention you will write me an essay on Florian's method of mind mixes. I do not expect it to be great. Nor adequate. You have two hours."

Draco opened the old worn out book called _Mind Melds Through the Ages, For All Ye Mixing Kinds_ by Florian Hobbs. He took out some parchment, quill, ink and began to write. Draco had heard of Florian Hobbs before, learned about him last year, but had yet to track down any of his books. From what he'd heard they were difficult to read, and as Draco scanned through the dusty old book he found that statement to be true. Indeed, it sounded as if Florian Hobbs had taken a tad too many mind mixing potions through the years as his book was riddled with ludicrous scribbles and formulas that boggled the young Slytherin's mind. He glanced behind himself to see Harry having trouble, scratching his head. The same seemed to be true for Ron. Draco glanced at the clock and wished it could go faster. He had less than an hour until the first part of his plan would happen, so he got to work on his essay and decided to try and finish it before that happens.

Harry heard Ron sneeze from opening the book. To be honest, he wasn't too thrilled with the coating of dust either. He pulled the book open like ripping a band-aid off, and a cloud of dust floated under his nose. He almost sneezed, he could feel it building up to his nose, but he held it in. Harry saw Draco scribbling away at his essay. He couldn't comprehend how Draco could understand what he saw as gibberish, and write an essay on it so easily, especially when their detention only began. Harry looked to the clock and thought that he wouldn't even get to finish, let alone comprehend what he was reading, before time was up, but he thought he'd try.

Minutes passed, and Severus was having a ball watching the Gryffindor's squirm trying to comprehend Florian Hobbs' insane book. Of course only half the potions Hobbs' discusses in his first and only published book actually worked. The man himself was blitzed out of his mind for more than three decades. It was a miracle the book was published at all. Severus thought for a second that the project may have been too mean, definitely too difficult, but all thoughts on that were out the window as he watched his students struggle. Except Draco. Draco, the star of the Slytherin's in Severus' eyes, was working hard on his essay, reaching nearly three pages by his count. Still, Severus wondered what came over his blonde pupil. It was unlike him.

Draco glanced up at the clock again and saw it five minutes to nine. He wrote one more sentence on his essay and stood up. Severus watched as Draco walked up to him and handed him his essay, and copy of _Mind Melds Through the Ages, For All Ye Mixing Kinds_ by Florian Hobbs. Severus allowed a smile as he expected no less from Draco.

"You may sit for the remainder," Severus said simply.

Draco nodded and sat back down. He clenched his hands together, and his leg was bouncing up and down beneath his desk. He kept glancing at the clock; three minutes to nine, two minutes to nine, then one minute. It was approaching the critical moment Draco had planned for today. Once it started there was no backing down. He wouldn't let himself.

"I can do it," he whispered underneath his breath. The clock struck nine.

Suddenly, a loud bell rang throughout the corridor outside the dungeon. Severus Snape's head darted to the door. The sound was then mixed with ghastly howling, and a symphony of cacophony. Severus got up and headed for the corridor. He opened his door and walked out yelling, "What in the name of Merlin is going on out here?!"

Draco's leg stopped moving. Severus Snape had left the dungeon, but Draco needed to wait a bit longer. He needed to be sure that the Professor wouldn't be back in an instant. As Draco waited he could hear the silence inside the dungeon rise. Second after second was brutal for him. His heart started to elevate, his palms became sweaty, everything he did to calm himself was coming undone. The silence was too much. And then-

"PEEVES!"

Harry, Ron, and Draco all bolted upright at the sound of that. Severus Snape was on the hunt, and he was pissed.

 _Now_ , thought Draco, _this is it_. He had only one chance, and Draco was not going to waste it, no matter how nervous he was.

Draco Malfoy stood up and slowly walked toward Harry. The Gryffindor looked up, a scowl on his face. Harry stood up, and stepped away from his desk, to meet the Slytherin.

"What are you doing?" asked Harry.

"Yeah," piped up Ron. He too got to his feet and was coming over to back up his best friend. He took out his wand. "If you try anything funny, I won't hesitate to use this."

Draco naturally met Harry's scowl with his own, but realized his mistake. He darted his eyes off to the side, softened his expression, and met Harry's eyes. Harry could see a change in Draco, but he wasn't sure what.

"Harry," Draco said, "I want to say something, and I promise it's not a trick."

That got Harry's attention. Draco never called him Harry, and he could see it in Draco's expression that the Slytherin didn't have a gleam in his eye, or any other tell that hid his usual nasty nature. So Harry nodded to Ron who lowered his wand and met Draco's eyes, waiting for what he had to say.

"Look, I-I don't know how to say this. I-I mean I've been trying to come up with how to say this, but-uh I mean…" Harry watched as Draco struggled with his words, still weary of the Slytherin. "I guess w-what I'm trying to say is…I'm sorry."

Draco's chest lifted after saying that. Somehow, he felt lighter. He could see Harry's surprised expression, and quickly explained while he still had the courage.

"I'm sorry, Harry, for everything I have done. When I was younger it was because I was jealous. I-I really did want to be your friend, b-but I think it somehow changed. Maybe I changed. I'm not sure…but I want to be. I need to know."

Draco paused, trying to find his next words, but that was a mistake. The look Harry gave him filled his heart with dread. His rational mind told him it was a natural look of confusion, one to be expected from his ramblings, but Draco's emotional side knew better. It told him that was the look of disgust. A look that confirmed how pathetic Draco really was. Then the thoughts started coming back. A cold feeling gripped the inside of his ribcage as thoughts of doubt, and hatred filled his mind. He was pathetic. He knew he was wrong. His legs shook. And he knew that Harry could see right through him, could see just how meaningless and worthless he truly was. Draco tried to speak, but couldn't. A muffled hiss escaped his mouth, so he covered it up with a cough. He tried again.

"Harry," he said. "I like you."

Harry blinked. He glanced over to Ron who just shrugged. Neither of them was expecting that to come out of Draco. A part of Harry was relieved when Draco admitted his faults. He had been mean to him ever since he brushed him off on the train all those years ago, but Harry saw regret and sincere in Draco's eyes as he admitted that to him. Harry wasn't sure how this would go, but he appreciated the big step that Draco took to bury their feud.

"Um, thanks Draco," said Harry. He was a tad uncomfortable with this conversation, but felt it essential. Draco, for the first time Harry has known him, was trying to be nice and fix a broken bridge.

"Don't think that's enough to be friends with us," blurted Ron. "Apologies are good, but we ain't buddy buddy now you hear?"

"Ron!" said Harry. Ron shrugged at his pal. Harry sighed and turned back to the Slytherin. "Don't mind him, he can be-"

"I know," said Draco.

"But that doesn't mean he's wrong. Look Mal-Draco, I really appreciate what you're doing, but it will take a while to be friends if that's what you're trying to do."

Draco bit his lip, and clenched his fists. _That's not what I mean_ , he screamed on the inside, _why can't I just say it_? Harry looking at him made Draco feel worse. He wasn't sure why, but it was starting to get harder to tell him.

"I-I kn-know," said Draco. Every syllable felt like a battle to get out. He could feel his stomach lurch and tighten. His insides felt hot and uncomfortable. He felt so pathetic, and hated that feeling rising inside him. He didn't have much time left, if he didn't get it over now either his body would shut down or Professor Snape would be back.

"I l-like…you," said Draco. He cursed inside himself. He tried saying it, he really did, but it wouldn't come out.

"I kno-"

"N-No," said Draco. He clenched his fists and took a deep gulp of air. He stared at Harry with piercing eyes and said, "I _like_ you."

Then Draco brought his body to Harry's, and their lips met. Draco's body nearly went limp when the feeling washed over his body. It felt like an elixir. His strength came back, his confidence grew, and his heart soared as his suspicions about Harry came true in that moment. He didn't _like_ Harry, he loved him.

Harry pushed Draco. His eyes wide open with fear. Surprised, Draco tripped and fell to the floor. He shut his eyes from the pain and when he opened them Draco found Ron's wand pointing at his face.

"I swear if this is some trick."

Draco ignored Ron and looked to Harry. The Gryffindor was still shocked, he stared back at him before wiping his mouth on the sleeve of his robe and spitting onto the floor.

"What the hell was that?!" said Harry.

"I-I told you," said Draco. He was unsure what to say, still processing Harry's reaction. Draco could see the once green eyes that were filled with kindness, forgiveness, turn into one of hatred. That look shattered Draco.

Footsteps emerged from the doorway to the dungeon. Severus Snape looked upon the scene of two Gryffindors, one with wand in hand, standing over a Slytherin on the floor. If his students thought he was mad at peeves, they hadn't seen nothing yet. His face turned beat red before he exploded.

"What. Do. You. Think you are doing Mr. Weasley?!"

Ron yelped and held down his wand. Harry back away to let Severus bolt to the ginger.

"Did I just witness you pointing _your_ wand at a student? A student that was by no means defended, or in a position to protect themselves?!"

Ron couldn't speak.

"Seventy-five points from Gryffindor."

Draco got up slowly from the floor. He used the desk near him to hold his weight. He felt weak.

"Mr. Malfoy, you may go back to your dormitory. You are relieved for the night."

Draco nodded and left before Snape could deal with Harry and Ron. He had left his things behind too, but at the moment he didn't care. His legs felt like jelly, and he was sure that he would throw up. After ten minutes, and a trip to the bathroom, Draco finally made it back to his bed. His roommates were already asleep.

He quickly closed the curtains around his bed and put up a silencing charm before breaking down. He knew that would happen. He knew that Harry would reject him, and he knew that he truly loved Harry. He hated how he felt about the Gryffindor, and about himself as well. It wasn't fair. He slammed his fist into the pillow.

Draco took a few minutes to calm down. Tear marks were starting to dry on his cheeks. He couldn't believe he actually cried. He couldn't remember the last time that happened, but he told himself that would be the last. He took the letter from his father and opened it. The letter discussed his initiation into the Death Eaters, and when it would take place.

Draco felt lost and empty. He wasn't sure what to do. Although if Harry returned his feelings he wasn't sure what to do then either, but Draco felt that if Harry did feel the same way as him then it'd be an out. An out from his family, an out from his destiny, but as Draco read the letter again and again he started to feel incomplete. He wasn't sure why he cared about Harry, but war was coming and Draco had no choice. There was no more worrying about who Draco is, or was. Draco Malfoy was going to become a Death Eater within a week.

* * *

 **Phew~! So, I'm obviously failing at NaNoWriMo, thus I decided to give ya'll a nice juicy chapter, or two! I'm actually quite proud of this one as it defines the first major story foundation. If you're confused because of the last chapter, I will be alternating between present Draco and future Draco, so odd chapters are in the present while future chapters are even. Anywho~ hope everyone who made it to this chapter has liked the story thus far. Leave a comment if you want, even if you hate it, and I'll be starting the next chapter very soon.**


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